Everything You’ve Ever Wanted

Have you ever had blurry vision? Whether it’s a smudge on your glasses or you just woke up from a nap we have all experienced this. You either rub your eyes a little bit or wipe off the dirt from your glasses. That usually takes care of the problem.

Lately I have been feeling pretty blurry, fuzzy, watered down, etc. I had no drive and I felt like I was just dragging myself through an unfocused world. I know that some of you have felt like that before. I didn’t know how to feel about anything. I just felt like I was doing everything all wrong. I was trying so hard to rub my eyes and wipe off my lenses but nothing was working. I prayed to God about it and I didn’t hear anything back. “

  • “Perception is enormously powerful.” –Johnnie Moore, Dirty God 79

This was one of the first things that sort of rubbed my eyes or wiped my glasses. God put this on my heart because He knew I felt this way and was working to change it. I was reading this book for a class and some of the ideas that came from Moore was that God sometimes gives us new lenses. I read this but my vision still wasn’t clear.

  • I was prophesied over.

This was the second focused happening. I found myself at a new church plant one Sunday and I unknowingly went on the day when Ed was speaking. Ed was visiting from California. Ed was a fun, positive old man that was probably in his 60s or 70s. Have you ever met someone and you can just tell that they exude the Holy Spirit? That’s Ed. I found out soon later that his spiritual gift was prophecy. After the service he prophesied over anyone that stayed. I stayed. The things God said to me through him were astounding. I couldn’t help but smile. This was cleaning my lenses pretty well but I still wasn’t rid of the gunk.

  • I didn’t get a scholarship I applied for.

This is the third and final thing. Finances is something that I struggle with on a daily basis and being in college having a monthly tuition payment is also burdening my struggle. My school was offering a scholarship that I thought I was a shoe in for. Only eleven applicants and they were giving out two scholarships. Once I applied I was spending money like I had already gotten the scholarship. Not really being aware of how much I was spending. God didn’t just clean my lenses. He gave me a new prescription.

It was almost like a smack in the face. I could hear God saying, “What are you doing!?” This was one of the first times that something had slipped through my fingers so quick being a half adult. God quickly changed my perspective on life and how I live it. I was finally given what I asked for but denied something else. And it was okay. It was a very haunting feeling but fulfilling at the same time. All I could do is be thankful to God in that moment because he answered one of the biggest prayers in my life right now.

When these moments come we have to be able to prepare ourselves or at least recover in a healthy manner.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” –Matthew 7:7

                “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” –Colossians 2:6-7

Jesus will give you what you asked for. And if He doesn’t, He will give you what you need. Sometimes God needs to make adjustments in our lives for us to see clearly. Are you ready for clarity? Pray about it. Study scripture (Lord knows I need to more often), and maybe find a mentor. It’s hard to fill someone else up when you’re not being filled yourself.

Clarity doesn’t come from being stagnant and waiting. You have to seek it out.

“Seek and you will find.”

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