“The yearning to know what cannot be known, to comprehend the incomprehensible, to touch and taste the unapproachable, arises from the image of God in the nature of man. Deep calleth unto deep, and though polluted and landlocked by the mighty disaster theologians call the Fall, the soul senses its origin and longs to return to its source.”
– A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God
The most beautifully overwhelming thing in my life is the work of the Hand of God. It’s one of those things that most of the time I don’t even realize until I look back. I am in awe when I see how events, situations, and circumstances in my life have all led up to the point and how they’ve shaped me into the person I am now. I’m amazed when I look at the chaos around and see how God can form order out of it all. I know in the end that He has had this plan of order-out-of-chaos since before the dawn of time.
Life started in the small town of Houghton Lake, Michigan. I was born into a loving family and was surrounded by 3 generations of them just between two houses. My grandparents and great-grandmother lived in the house next to ours, which is a blessing that not many other people I know had the privilege of. While being incredibly loving people, my parents did not go to church. My mother and grandparents had stopped going back when my mom was a little girl after their pastor said some offensive comment during a sermon. They weren’t turned off to God, but they never found another church to attend. As I said before, they weren’t anti-god or anti-church, they just didn’t go to one.
All of that changed in 2001.
My parents and I were in the beautiful city of Chicago visiting my uncle, aunt, and cousin just after my 4th birthday. A few days into our vacation, we went to the Shedd Aquarium. After spending a few hours looking at jellyfish, dolphins, and other various aquatic life that my four-year old eyes had never seen, I remember my mother not feeling well. Her and my aunt went back to the car while my father, uncle, cousin, and I walked around for a bit longer. It didn’t get any better for her as the day went on. The thing I remember most vividly is waking up the next morning with my uncle looking at me and telling me “Your mom and dad went to the hospital last night because your mom still isn’t feeling good.”
The ER doctor told my mother, who had been a Registered Nurse for over 10 years, that she just had the stomach flu. They let my mom go a few hours later and we decided it was best to leave Chicago and go back home before my mom got worse. We got home and after a week of her still being sick, she went to the local ER. They told her that she had appendicitis and that her appendix had burst, causing a deadly infection. She was rushed to emergency surgery. I remember staying up in the critical care waiting room with my grandparents waiting for an update. She got out of surgery a few hours later and began a grueling recovery. One of the days shortly after her operation, a family friend stopped by to visit. This man was a man of faith and met my family through my great-uncle who is a Baptist minister. During his visit, he said to my mom “You know, you don’t have to do this alone anymore.”
My mother decided right there and then to give her heart to God.
She immediately felt a peace about her that she had never felt before. After a month of recovery in the hospital, she was finally well enough to go home. Once home, she got rid of everything. I remember we had a massive house sale where my mother sold many of the material objects that were in our house. All of it didn’t mean anything to her anymore. She soon was seeking a church to call home as well. My preschool teacher suggested that we try out her church, so we did. I remember that Sunday like it was yesterday. I was immediately greeted by several of my friends from preschool, and taken away to this mysterious thing called “Sunday school”. I loved it. We played a game, we colored, and we had a Bible lesson. I was hooked. I needed more of this thing. It was the joy in my heart that caused my family to decide to go back the next Sunday….and the next….and the one after that as well. Eventually, we called this church “home”. This was only the beginning…
This series ‘Chaos/Order’ will be following a more detailed version of my testimony and how God has worked through various situations in my life. Stay tuned!